The world was at its best on this particular Tuesday. Perhaps you could say it would be the start of the best day ever. Well, you’re wrong.
“Matilda threw another fucking tantrum and understand, please, that her mother is no fucking help either, Julie”, explained M’s father. He wiped the sweat off his brow. Maybe that’s how he cries, thought the babysitter. This wasn’t a job she asked for. Shit, she could’ve settled for the 7.35 per hour at the Bodega on 5th avenue. Instead she thought she should challenge herself. Well this was definitely what she asked for.
‘Well damn I shouldn’t complain then’, thought Julie. Yeah, definitely having been put under certain circumstances, there was no way she was getting that easy paid bodega.
Her brother made sure of it after he let his boss in on one of her little secrets of the past. Apparently bosses don’t like to hear young girls fucking older coworkers on the job. You’d think they would. ‘What a dillhole’, she thought, ‘why can’t we just love?’ She imagined orgy porgies left and right. She could envision the CAUTION wet and slipper sign. Those fluids sure do get everywhere. She imagined something as seriously wild as human beings fucking each other while they hung from trees like sloths. Shit’s pretty freaky, that mind of hers. ‘We’d fuck our way backwards from evolution.’ Unfortunately her imagination, at this very moment when M’s papa’s vision ran red, chose the wrong time to run rampant and this is because it erupted a sloppy burst of laughter in Mr. Fischer’s face.
His neck whipped so quickly she stopped dead in her tracks being more concerned for his neck than for the trouble she found herself in.
“DO (one knee stomps forward) YOU (second knee stomps forward) THINK THIS IS FUNNY (all the knee action aggressively shuffles toward her)”, he exclaims, each word acting as an increase button for the redness of his face.
“OH SHIT chill, I’m sorry, fuck! I just..I just kinda thought of something funny, that’s all. Listen I can leave and you can find another babysitter because I chose this job to be a babysitter like I’m supposed to, not to be your fucking therapist!!” she’d stumbled back and caught the edge of the dresser in their living room, spraying these jumbled words of courage at the rest of the room instead of his face. At that moment, Matilda had commenced once again, leaving evidence for it by throwing the remote control at the flatscreen T.V. in which the impact sounded with a crack. She wailed on the couch as she began to kick and scream while she threw the couch throw pillows at even more expensive shit in the room like a really detailed snow glob on the mantle piece right beside the couch.
“DAMMIT!” Mr. Fischer stomps and yells to the floor. “Get out.”
This made Julie smile at Matilda. What a punny girl she will be. “Fine, later fucking loser.” Before she walked to the door and Mr. Fischer could slam the door in her face, she pulled the finger and tugged her left eye open with her tongue sticking out. She finally turns away and descends the staircase leading out to the street. “Ha, I bet i’ll drop by one day and find him drunken and alone, family gone, making out with a bottle of henny.’ She said to herself aloud. Despite having simply walked away from that shithole household, she actually worried for Matilda’s well being. She was just a kid. No one to understand she was just doing kid things and that asshole dad with his lack of patience…
Knowing Mr. Fischer, he’d be too busy arguing with his wife and working overtime to avoid his wife than finding another promising babysitter for M. It’s not normal for a 7 year old to take a cab to school and back. She may not be her babysitter anymore but she sure as hell didn’t have to let Matilda go home by herself.