The Portal

It climbs out from the yellow orb in the sky and it whispers into my ear, Don’t do it. 

I recognize the conflict between my place here and the place I want to be. 

I know I don’t want to be anywhere without you. And I am, yet I’m still breathing. 

Miserably, but I’m still kicking. 

I don’t think I need, I don’t think I need, I don’t think I need…

I don’t think. 

And so the crystals and specks of dust from the orb call out to me. 

They call out to me and tempt me with what might have been on the other side. 

The Family of the World

In my drunken stupor I’ve come up with an analogy, and correct me if it needs correcting but this is what I’ve come up with. 

Essentially the world, planet Earth, can be thought of as a literal home; four walls, a ceiling and a floor. Now, those living in such a cramped space will be forced to confront each other and differences will be settled, peacefully or violently. Either way, it will be settled. Now, the world, Earth, is so large, we just simply can’t get to each other, or we have not had the courage to get to each other, because it’s such a large populated reach. This is essentially why it’s taken to long to confront social and political issues. Like most household families, whether in an apartment or a home, the beginning of a family starts off awkward and unsure of how to deal with the differences amongst one another. Eventually, the cramped space causes the need for confrontation in order to solve or understand such differences. So the family begins to fight, begins to fall apart in the worst possible ways imaginable. Still, when all battles are fought, we begin to dissolve these differences or at the least, begin to understand that so and so sees the world differently than I do so I will respect their perspective and they will respect mine as well. Our population on this planet is so large and diverse, we have only just began to confront these issues as evident by today’s political and social issues like gender acceptance, sexuality acceptance, exposure on the realities of today’s unfair hierarchy based on wealth and status. We are confronting these issues head on now, much like the way siblings will finally come out in the open about how much they hate each other. Just know that these battles will later, if not sooner, be considered as fought and we will coexist as one large family again. We will see each other’s differences and understand that our differences are what makes our world colorful and unique. The thought of a person with something new to bring to the table will one day warm our hearts. 

I hope you lovelies enjoy your morning! Wherever you are ❤️

Dogs=Pain+Joy

Good morning, lovelies! 

Like most dog owners I love my dog as if he were my own child. He’s my baby and always will be for life. But like any living creature, dogs need food, water, potty, and attention! 

Oh god the attention…

God forbid I stay up till the early hours of the morning because my dog will be sure to wake me back up with a few many long cries at my door. 

It does get extremely frustrating when I do tend to him and he finally heads back to sleep, yet the moment I try to go back to sleep, I only find that I’ve developed a headache from not sleeping enough because now at this point I just can’t go back to sleep anymore. Still, to see him so relaxed and restfully sleeping like the baby he is, I have a warm heart and some peace of mind. I can never resist his adorable face as he sleeps and even the soft little whimpers he makes when he dreams! Such a sweetheart and he only bothers me in the morning because he knows I love him too much to not take care of him (the incessant crying that prevents me from sleeping in the first place kinda helps, too). 

He’s my little fluff and he’s so damn spoiled he knows it! (A photo I took of my Valentine 😁) 

An exhausted mind exposes an honest heart.

He was going to take a shower,

But he changed his mind..

He was going to take me out to the porch with him,

But he changed his mind..

I was given a second chance

I shouldn’t be here,

But I am..

To that, I concluded,

“I shouldn’t waste this.”

You’re a Work of Art

Why do you creep into my dreams?

You’re only a friend

I’ve only ever talked to you

And felt warmth by you

And loved you

So why do you walk slowly in my peripheral vision?

So why do you say nothing?

So why do you vanish when I flash a look at you?

Why do you creep into my dreams?

Another thing to read after Valentine’s Day

Maybe its not a smart idea to start my first blog post just as Valentine’s day ends, mostly because it’s the last thing on everyone’s minds. Especially the drunkards. Potheads. Drunk privileged blonde Starbucks girl. Anyways, I guess venting about love and all this shit should be a thing right now, right? So here it is.

See some people have plans. You know, that 1o year plan where you try to weigh out the differences between the way you handle your own insanity and the way he handles his own insanity. You know, they’ve gotta match up..apparently, to some women. (Shit, unfortunately i’m reaching the 18th mark for my years on this earth.) So some people (because feminists are also a thing in this beautiful day and age so I can’t say women) expect a fuckin’ movie out of their love lives. A lot of this gets in the way of reality. It gets in the way of “How the fuck am I going to pay for college” or “Where the fuck am I going for college” Seriously, who the most recent guy is shouldn’t factor into anyone’s decision on where to go to college. How far you’ll go will not mean how less you care about that person, man. It just means you’re trying to build yourself some character. At least, thats one of the things you get to experience going away for that milestone in your life. You, presumptuously, attempt to find yourself. Mostly, college is about finding yourself (in the cheapest, closest or farthest, way possible).

Why the hell am I talking about college.

Anyways, there’s this theory I have. Of course, it could be well executed in theory. Not in practice. As it usually goes.

It makes no sense to love just one person. I wouldn’t blame her for thinking that’s what love is because that’s what society has gown us up with our whole lives. We always thought its just boy girl but in reality it’s not necessarily a Twilight movie. This is real life. Things happen. People die, people lose their jobs, people have financial debt, all that crap. There’s no room for love. But that’s fine. You don’t have to love just one person. You can love your mother, brother, sister, cousin, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, best friend, teacher, etc. (I hope you’re getting it.)

Everyone is so afraid to open up to each other and just love. And so with that, we’ve created a misconception of what love really is. Because the world wont open ip, we think that love is rare. We think that it can only be found in one special person. But thats not true, or at least, it doesn’t have to be true. All we need to do is accept. See, people think that accepting means that we approve. But you have to understand. You need to think about the fact that we all feel like we live in our own bubbles. You need to step out of that bubble. Just for a second. Step back and analyze the situation. Do your damn best to remove yourself from the equation, from the experiment. And also, if you go through life without reflecting on what you’ve experience, well, you aren’t the world, the world will experience you. It will experience how weak you are. How inexperienced and unprepared you’ve become.

How blind….I wish that I could stand in front of a crows, standing on a podium, and say these exact words. In the hopes that someone, SOMEONE, will be able to resonate with what I’m trying to say. Just so that they understand. Even in the slightest bit. I wish I could clear that blind spot in the world’s eye.

I think something we can all agree on is this:

You make the decisions…and life will do the rest for you. 

It’s not necessarily completely out of our hands but we don’t have the best hold on it either.

Goodnight, guys.